Rabbi's Chayva's Chat

There are two categories of things you should be thinking about as the High Holy Days approach. The first is your High Holy Days experiences: Reverse Tashlich Beach Cleanup (Sept. 29), Erev Rosh Hashanah dinner (Oct. 2), High Holy Day services, childcare (throughout services), Children and Family Services, the community-wide October 7 Memorial Service at Emanu-El, and the Yom Kippur Break the Fast meal. For different reasons, each of these events needs advanced notice. And don’t forget that if you’re bringing friends and family, we’d like them to register too!

The second category is your own personal cheshbon hanefesh, taking account of your behavior over the course of the year that is ending. If we walk into Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur services without prior reflection, the resolutions we make are similar to New Year’s resolutions: good intentions that might carry us forward for a few weeks or months, but not real personal growth. That’s why the work has to start now - we have to make time to do hard things. What conflicts might potentially be resolved if we make the time to address them? In what ways have we become careless in our behavior, and how can we shape up? That is the work of this season. Some of us need a nudge to get going - consider this your nudge.
I know, however, that sometimes Jewish tradition’s demand of cheshbon hanefesh feels overwhelming because we know that some conflicts are too big to resolve or the right time has not yet come. If you find that relatable, I’ll remind you of the words of Rabbi Tarfon in Pirkei Avot (2:16), “You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.” You do not need to move mountains, but I encourage you to seek inroads, either within the relationship or within yourself. In every conflict, we have the opportunity to grow into stronger versions of ourselves who navigate challenge with ethics and honor. May this, too, be the work of Elul. I wish you strength, patience, and compassion as you begin.